How One Road Trip Changed Her Life
Born in Michigan, writer and essayist C. Jane Taylor grew up around motorcycles. Her mom owned and ran a motorcycle shop. But then the family moved to Vermont, where Jane attended high school and dropped out early to go to college and study English in a different state.
She became pregnant at 30, but did not remain in the relationship. Jane was a single mom to son Emmett for two years. “I know I was fortunate. Emmett’s dad was a part of his life and I had the support of family, but being a mom was still new and scary. Those two years helped me form a connection with my son that I think is different from how a ‘nuclear family’ feels.”
Jane met her husband John when Emmett was two. John did not want kids, but he and Emmett quickly became close. “It occurs to me now that leaving Charley, Emmett’s dad, was a big step in taking control of my life, but I later gave away that power as I took on the identity of a wife to John and mother to Emmett.”
Jane didn’t start riding motorcycles again until after her 50th birthday. “When he was in high school, Emmett and I used to watch the ‘CBR guys’ riding what we called crotch rockets. [CBR is a Honda motorcycle brand.] He really wanted one. Then when Emmett was a Senior in college, John said, ‘Let’s get some bikes and ride across the country.’ I didn’t know it, but he had already saved for over a year. So we bought the bikes and made it happen.”
In 2015, Jane and her husband and son took the trip that defined them as a family, but she describes it as also the end of family togetherness. “My son was still a big part of my life while he was in college. I was wondering who I would be when he was gone, who we were as a family, and how my husband and I were going to be as a couple. The trip addressed a lot of these things for me. It got me rethinking my own identity as a woman, a mom, and an entrepreneur. There were no intercoms in our helmets, just each of us in our own thoughts for 10,000 miles with single pointed focus.”
Before her cross country road trip, Jane wrote for others and did marketing for a yoga studio (her husband is a yoga teacher). She knew she was a talented writer, but she didn’t take her career seriously. “Since the trip, I’ve taken on more control over my own life. The first thing I did, and what made me realize that something had changed, was that I created a mission statement for myself. I had always loved Tesla’s mission statement, ‘To accelerate the world’s transition to sustainable energy.’ My mission is to further human potential through writing.”
In 2017, Jane began resume writing for FromWithin Coaching, a career, business, and life coaching service based in Burlington, VT. In 2021, she finished a book, Spirit Traffic: A Mother’s Journey of Self-Discovery and Letting Go, about her epic road trip, which is due out in April 2022.
Balodana: What was the catalyst for your transformation experience?
Guest: To say that it was empty nest syndrome that changed me feels too outward facing for what I experienced. The trip was difficult, scary, and beautiful. It was about taking back my personal power and identity as a woman. I learned things about myself that I didn’t expect, like the fact that I was riding a giant vibrator – that was funny.
But what cut to the chase for me was that I realized I was counting on people to do things for me. As a writer, I was just waiting for my work to come to me. On the road, I found that I needed to make my own momentum and seize control of my experiences instead of just allowing things to happen to me. I wanted to be a badass, to be my own woman.
I also discovered that being vulnerable is okay. There is strength in vulnerability, as Brené Brown says. It’s REAL. After a 10,000 mile trip, I am simultaneously more vulnerable, but I’m also more fearless.
Balodana: How did your transformation affect the people around you?
Guest: Being on the road together, each of us on our own bikes, it equalized us as a family. We were together as a unit, but separate as individuals too. When we got on our bikes, without intercoms to communicate, we were essentially in our own heads the whole time. You have to stay focused when on a motorcycle, and having your own bike feels like taking control of your own life.
I had to recognize that my son Emmett was a grown man and a person in his own right. He was making choices that were not the choices I would have made for him, but they were good choices for him, nonetheless. I had to think about who I was going to be, apart from my role as a mother and wife.
Balodana: What was the most difficult or memorable part of your transformation?
Guest: I talk about it in the book, but at one point we had a big fight while on the road. [My husband] John was in the lead, as he often was. I thought he was going too fast, there was a tour bus tailgating us, and all three of us were hot and angry and fed up. We pulled off into a parking lot and John didn’t put his bike kickstand down. His bike fell over and the fall broke the mirror and damaged his bike.
At that point, I thought: “I am done.” I decided that I was going to take the lead. I told John and Emmett that we were going to stop, get some cold drinks, and find a place to camp for the night. We all agreed and as we started to get back on the road to follow through on the plan, I had to stop for traffic—and I fell.
The fall made me realize that gender normative stereotypes were ridiculous. On the road, we were equal and we were on this journey together, just like we were in life.
After my trip, I went by myself to a “Babes Ride Out” rally in New York State. I ride a BMW dual sport bike and not a Harley so I felt a little nerdy, like a girl scout with no tattoos. I decided to embrace that nerd. My transformation led me to take myself more seriously, doing things in my own time and doing things of my choosing, in my own way. That self-acceptance is what enabled me to write the book.
Balodana: Did your personal style or wardrobe change to reflect your transformation?
Guest: I am aging. I will be 58 soon. My hair is gray, white, and silver. I have wrinkles and I am okay with that. This is who I am. The way I look is a reflection of how I’ve lived and all that I have experienced. I have had fun and challenged myself, I’ve had experiences.
Aging is another experience, and it can be scary but also fun. If you don’t embrace it you’re just going to have less happiness as it’s inevitable! Weight changes, menopause happens.
I found that I feel really good in my motorcycle jacket. It’s an armored jacket and form fitting; I look strong AND feminine when I wear it. Up until I was 40 I was a tomboy. My wardrobe consisted of a lot of jeans and black clothes. But in my 40s I started adding more feminine notes, like pops of color, flower patterns.
I embrace my own style and while it’s not outwardly feminine, there are parts of it that are because those are a part of my personality too. On the trip, I wore a lot of utilitarian clothing, but I still had touches of femininity, like my floral underwear. Taking the trip reinforced my ability to change and look the way I wanted to no matter what others thought.
Balodana: What piece of clothing do you find most empowering?
Guest: Definitely my KLIM motorcycle jacket. I purchased it used after the big trip, from a woman who works in a motorcycle shop. It makes me feel like Wonder Woman putting on her cape when I put it on. It imbues me with a feeling of strength.
Balodana: What would you say for others who may be having a hard time adapting to changes and/or opportunities?
Guest: I want to remind other women that the empty nest is the goal of parenting. You want to raise well-adapted children so that they can be more than you dreamt of being. They have to individuate. It’s sad and beautiful and it doesn’t get easier, but embrace the celebration of your kid celebrating THEIR own life and celebrate the wins with them, even if they are small.
Aging will happen to you whether you want it to or not. Remember that some are not given that privilege. The Crone is an empowered woman, and in matriarchal societies the Crone is a source of wisdom, power, and experience. Once a woman becomes a Crone, she is able to be truly herself and can give to the community in a way no other woman can. We are at the height of our intellectual powers, and the alternative, the shrinking violet, doesn’t help anyone. The Crone changes the world and our ability to give to others is what makes us stronger.
Balodana: Tell us a little bit about your work and your new book, which is coming out in April.
Guest: After I returned from my trip, I took charge of my career and accepted the position of Career Communications Writer with FromWithin Coaching in Burlington. I discovered that I love working with other women. I helped put together services for mid-career women over 50 to better enable them to answer the question of “what’s next?” I empower women to make choices, knowing what options are available to them. I believe that a resume is a roadmap, and as a writer, my aim is to spin your experiences in a way that helps propel you into the future you desire.
After my trip, I started writing my book about the journey. It flowed for 200 pages and then it didn’t. I came back to it 2 years later and hired a writing coach named Paula Diaco. She collaborated with me on a book proposal which helped me to finish. NO ONE does anything alone as a human being. Part of the human catastrophe is that we need one another, we need to lean into that vulnerability. Getting support from other women, other bikers, and my family – it is a wonderful, vulnerable experience to let go of all the adversarial feelings.
The concept of retirement is so opposite of where I am going. I am hosting a book release party on April 18th in Burlington, VT. Then I will be touring the country on my bike, hosting small readings and house parties on a Barnstorming Book Tour as I travel from New England to California. I want to encourage other people to tell their stories of adventure, and hopefully inspire adventure in women who are shrinking violets—that’s really the focus.
Follow Jane’s travels on social media.
Website: https://cjanetaylor.com/
Podcast: https://cjanetaylor.com/c_jane_taylor_podcast/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/cjanetaylor/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/c.jane.taylor
Jane’s book is available for pre-order here.
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One of Balodana’s core values is celebrating all of life’s stages, ups and downs, triumphs and tragedies. With this series of interviews with powerful people who have gone through a transformative experience, we hope to inspire you and energize you through your own transformation. If you know someone who has a great transformation story to tell, nominate them! Send to [email protected].
